i think i have herpe
just one?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
