capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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