I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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