shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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