This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I believe in your delicious
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
