we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
