wat bout pragnant strippers??
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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