I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
