Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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