he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
