I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I've blown a few things in my day
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize