I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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