He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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