"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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