I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
