I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
