Define "chronic" masturbator.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.