It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
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i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
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I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me