I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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