HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
