I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
