Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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