I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.