that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again