3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises