as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?