THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
