I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You smell like stripper and shame
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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