Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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