Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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