I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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