Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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