fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
