Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
