I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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