Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Hippo gnu deer
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
