STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
