I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
