Sry I called you an 8
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
