WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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