I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
