i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
