I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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