its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
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he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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