Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
