you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
