this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
