oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
