Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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