its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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