Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
