i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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