he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
