Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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