I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
