A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
