i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
