so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.