It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.