Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think scott just propositioned me for sex

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  (734): I think scott just propositioned me for sex http://tfl.nu/w8hq
  Replies (3) Good night (1130) Bad night (498)
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  (949): View more from California

  She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.

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  (949): She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree. http://tfl.nu/gm08
  Replies (3) Good night (1357) Bad night (530)
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  (949): View more from California

  i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit

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  (949): i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit http://tfl.nu/gr8g
  Replies (13) Good night (3233) Bad night (1043)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.

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  (610): Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon. http://tfl.nu/dlc4
  Replies (21) Good night (2870) Bad night (2402)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it

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  (651): i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it http://tfl.nu/fv1k
  Replies (18) Good night (4964) Bad night (1317)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.

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  (240): I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it. http://tfl.nu/okvp
  Replies (4) Good night (4576) Bad night (1047)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.

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  (631): You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk. http://tfl.nu/huyr
  Replies (9) Good night (6138) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.

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  (248): i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots. http://tfl.nu/9g8z
  Replies (13) Good night (6383) Bad night (977)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.

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  (205): I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean. http://tfl.nu/fik0
  Replies (44) Good night (10210) Bad night (1243)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.

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  (480): Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes. http://tfl.nu/0e2s
  Replies (11) Good night (2314) Bad night (807)
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  (530): View more from California

  The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.

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  (530): The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved. http://tfl.nu/1q3u
  Replies (3) Good night (1968) Bad night (784)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night

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  (434): Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night http://tfl.nu/pi3r
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (328)
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  (315): View more from New York

  we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury

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  (315): we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury http://tfl.nu/pw29
  Replies (3) Good night (1226) Bad night (275)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.

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  (727): My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult. http://tfl.nu/3wr7
  Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.

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  (817): Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner. http://tfl.nu/2b8m
  Replies (1) Good night (83) Bad night (51)

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