I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.