I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.