I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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