But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
