Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
