evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
