CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
